The Energy Crisis

I'm really grateful for all the words of encouragement that people have offered me after yesterday's post. If it were possible for me to stop performing, I'd have done it when things didn't happen for me right out of college. I'd have done it when I was sick and depressed and everything felt hopeless. Performing, to me, is just as important as eating. I can't live without it, so there's no danger of me giving it up.

I'm feeling markedly better after I exorcised my demons and I'm much more clear on what I want and what's been troubling me. I wish I had the energy to do more, is basically what it boils down to. 

When I was younger I found ways to rehearse for multiple shows, take class 16 hours a week, run al student organization, and work part time on campus. I know now that having so much on my plate negatively impacted many of the things I was involved in. At the same time, if I could even do half of that I would be ecstatic. 

I suppose looking at it that way is silly. I'm still doing a lot and I'm doing it far better than anything I could've done in college. I just wish I could squeeze a little more blood from this stone.  Just a few drops more and I'll probably see some results, right?