One Weird Trick To Shield You From Negative Criticism

The main reason that I used to struggle with writing out and sharing my thoughts with people was because I was afraid that people would disagree with me vehemently and call me an idiot. This is especially true with me writing about improv, because there's a subset of improvisers who take a lot of pride in shouting down anybody who thinks anything other than what they've been taught. The worst thing is, I was afraid they'd be right about me being a total know-nothing.

The trick, I've learned, is to write about things I like and spend very little time discussing the things that I don't like. If I catch myself writing an incredibly negative post, it's usually because I'm wrapped up in a lot of emotion. Maybe somebody hurt my feelings at work or rehearsal and I wanted to write about how that person and everything they do is bad and is hurting the fabric of society. Then after I've written it, I read it back and it all seems a little silly.

If I write about my own experiences and things that have made improvisation fun for me, then who is anybody else to tell me that I'm wrong? If I spend posts upon posts being a positive beam of sunshine and someone comes in and calls me a dummy for enjoying things, that person is clearly just an a-hole. If you write about what you love, kind people will respect that (unless what you love is kicking puppies or something). The added bonus is that if you spend your time thinking and talking about things that you like a whole lot, you're going to feel a whole lot happier as a result.

Go ahead and get angry and write posts seething with vitriol. Get it all worked out of your system, then re-read that post and delete it immediately. By spouting negativity you are inviting other people to spout it right back at you. Granted, some things are worth posting takedowns of: puppy kickers, MRAs, people who order a diet coke and a water at a restaurant.

If you want to feel better and not worry about people telling you how awful and dumb you are, you should start by not talking about how awful and dumb everybody else is.

Being A Joy To Work With

I've been spending a lot of time at my day job lately and it's been making me think about what makes a co-worker a joy to work with and what makes others a chore to be around. What are the common traits of the people that light up my day as soon as I see them, and do I exemplify these traits?

I am guilty of showing up late from time to time, or venting my frustration with how the day is going, I can show up tired and hungry and I know that it affects my work, but I do my best to never allow these things to be excuses for not putting in my best effort. I spend most of my time at work finding ways to make the day easier and more pleasant for the people around me. It feels good to be around people who are happy, it makes me feel better to lend a hand when I can spare it.

In the same vein, the people who I enjoy working with are the ones who spend their time making the best of their day. We're at work, and even though sometimes they truly would rather be somewhere else, they're going to make this day worth their while. They're positive thinkers, they fix problems as they arise, and they're eager to help if they see someone struggling. They find ways to not only do the job that's required of them, but to do it with enthusiasm.

The thing is, those traits are useful everywhere and are an absolute requirement in a good improv troupe. When I find myself struggling through a day at work or a rehearsal at night, I know who I can turn to to help bail me out of my negative mindset. I know the people who will brighten my mood, and I strive to be that person for everybody else.

Get to work and find a way to enjoy it, because your joy can be infectious. Start an exuberant epidemic!

The Struggle:Taking a Break vs. Working Through It

I've been through the cycle of getting frustrated with improv, desperately wanting to quit, and falling back in love with it several times. When I first started feeling this way, my reaction was to grind through all of my troubles. I tend to do this with a lot of things in life. Tough it out, everybody's got problems. All I need to do is improv harder and I'll fix every issue I have.

I should know by now that increasing the intensity of something I'm struggling with isn't generally a good solution to whatever problem I'm facing. In fact, it almost always makes the issues I'm having worse. The reason for that is because I very rarely take the time to actually examine the things that are bringing me down during rehearsals or shows. I just tack on more rehearsals, more shows, more responsibilities and on and on until the wheels come off and I can take no more.

Now-a-days I decide to take a break, which is something I was terrified of doing before. I very much doubted my own work ethic and commitment to anything. I felt as though if I took even one step away from something, I'd continue stepping back until I'd quit entirely. It's a really strange fear when you're talking about improv, because if improv and performing are something I love and enjoy then they would logically not be very easy for me to quit doing. Logical or not, it's still the way I felt (and sometimes still feel).

Here's my prescription to myself and anybody who is struggling to fully enjoy something they usually love: take a breath. Take just enough time away from that passion to remind you why you loved it in the first place. Find something else to enjoy for a little while. Set a firm limit on the break that you are taking and adhere to it (no coming back early or late!).

If you want to work through it, really take the time to analyze what you're struggling with. Identify why you're not having fun and deal with that. Talk to people, tell people how much trouble you're having and ask them to save you when the troubles come up. There's no reason to tough it out alone in improv, find a way to connect with a teammate or fellow student or your teacher. In the end, you'll both be better for it.

You can step back without quitting entirely and you can work through issues with the help of others. Don't collapse under the weight of your own expectations.

Breaking the Rules, Breaking the Rules

"You don't know what's lllliiiiiiiike!"

My personal philosophy on how to have fun and get yourself out of your head while doing improv: break stuff. Dive into scenes with the mind of a destructive eight year old. I'm comin' into your kitchen and I'm not gonna stop til I've broken every plate and cup in that room! Take that perfect scene with no issues that's developing on stage and set it on fire. Fiddle while Rome burns.

At first blush, this seems like an awful thing to suggest. We want to create something on stage, what good does it do anybody to tear down the things that are being built? Aren't we supposed to be collaborating with our stage partners? I'm not suggesting coming on stage and blocking your partners's every move, I'm saying come on with every awful and lame idea you have and charge face first into a wall with them. Play recklessly and relish in the chaos that you and your partner create.

Too often scenes settle into comfortable, recognizable shapes. If you see that happening, ruin it. Find the first idea that's going to throw everything off balance and blow up the status quo. Once you do that, it's now up to you and your partner to find your way out of the incredibly compromising position you just put yourself in. It's fun to do, it's fun to watch, and it's easy to get yourself engaged.

Another reason to break stuff: It gets you out of your head. If you have the mindset of "I'm gonna go in there and do some real bad stuff. Like, things are gonna get out of hand and someone's gonna have to call the improv police," then it's going to be much easier to achieve your goals as a performer. It's common to tell people to follow the first unusual thing, but for my style I'd suggest the first incredibly dumb thing. You can play a dumb idea intelligently and somehow it only gets dumber. Scenes go off the rails, everything gets messed up, and the whole show is a lot more fun.

This works in short form as well. I watched a game of four people in an airport where three of the characters were the kind of people you'd find in an airport and the fourth person was, inexplicably, Batman. After a second of bewildered laughter, I thought to myself, "Yeah, why do we have to be regular old airport characters when we could be The Batman?" Break the rules and break your scenes as often as possible. Bad things will happen, but so will amazing things.