As I get ready to head up to Chicago for over a month for the iO Summer Intensive, I've got a ton of things rattling around in my brain. It has not been a particularly easy month leading up to this big dumb adventure and I'm more than a little stressed about it. I'm being supported by everyone I know and that is for sure the driving force behind me going. It's always been a little bit of a pipe dream, but the moment I even mentioned making it real every single person was like "Yeah that's a good idea! You should do that!" Here I am, a victim of surrounding myself with wonderful, positive, encouraging friends.
I could sit here and list all of the reasons I'm nervous or afraid to go up there and finally commit to this escapade, but really none of those things matters too much. I've found solutions to basically all of my points of stress and I'm not feeling a lick better for it. I'm nervous because this is a big opportunity and I don't want to squander it.
I am going to ignore the thoughts that tell me I'm probably bad at what I love and just generally existing. I'm choosing to listen to my friends and family who believe in me 100% and have seen how I've grown in the past couple of years. I'm not perfect, but I promise to always show up and to always try as hard as I can. Stubbornly. Persistently. Until I make even an inch of measurable progress. I'll think and think and do and do and listen and listen. My goals of being kind, and generous, and thoughtful won't be put on hold because I'm uncomfortable or scared. I'm gonna get up there, meet some new and awesome people, and make some damn things up.
Pep talk for myself complete. I feel much better now. Whatever happens, I'll figure it out.
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